Monty: Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. How can we make it die? You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Withnail: Jake: Trying for even more advantage. I've told you why. Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. [voiceover] Monty: (to the cat) you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. Sort: Relevant Newest # withnail and i # withnail and i # game of thrones cast # drunks # multimillionaires # gotcha # dave chappelle # i will # gotcha bitch Marwood: Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Right, now we're going to have to approach this scientifically. Add spice to it. Withnail: Marwood: What have you done to them? It's obsessed with its gut, it's like a bloody rugby ball now! What's your name, MacFuck? I don't advise a haircut, man. How dare you call me inhumane?! Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. Withnail: I'm gonna be a star*! Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! Suits me. withnail and i 96119 GIFs. [voiceover] A little before your time. It's society's crime, not ours. No need to get uptight, man. Of course he's the fucking farmer! You're not leaving me in here alone. I think you've been punished enough. This is a British cult classic. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. These aren't mine, they belong to him. Marwood: Withnail: And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! The fuel and wood situation. We'll tell him they had a farmers' conference and had a run on them. Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! Withnail: We might wanna do a film in here. Withnail: Irishman: You little thug! Look at this - accident blackspot? The beauty of the world. Marwood: Withnail: [clearly drunk] Monty: "Withnail and I Quotes." What is it? 2023. [narrating over scene] Withnail: Sulking up the hill. [he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his]. The meaning dawns on him. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. Withnail: I don't advise a haircut, man. [fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons] Peter Marwood (I): We want the finest wines available to humanity! 2023. This doesn't go down at all well. Withnail: A Massachusetts man was sentenced to probation for running an illegal hare trapping operation in Maine. Tea Shop Proprietor: Monty: Withnail: Here are found the emeralds, sapphires, carbuncles, topazes, chrysolites, onyxes, beryls, sardius, and other costly stones. He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. A coward you are, Withnail! His sister give him the idea. *Aaaaarggghhhh*! The paragon of animals! They dont like me being on stage. We've gone on holiday by mistake. You won't keep us anywhere. Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent that half the rubbish that gets on television. Danny: It's the only solution to this intense cold. The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain]. That's what you say. We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. He can eat his fucking radish. Withnail unfolds the note and hands it to Monty. Imagine the size of his balls. Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. Ah, he knows. Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Withnail: Look at us! I mean, look at us! Danny: Marwood: How like an angel in apprehension! [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. Youre not in the same boat. An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door]. Oh, but how dreadful. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). How infinite in faculties! [Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon] This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors! And indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory. I'll swallow it and run a mile! This is ridiculous. Oh dear no no No, I'd be sucked into his trap! Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. These aren't accidents! When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. He went to the other place, Monty. You got a rush. Then they must be delighted with your career. It'll pass. Marwood: And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Withnail: This dreadful little Israelite. The only people he converses with are his clients, and occasionally the police. ""Here. Here, I dont want it. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane. Jesus Christ! Listen, I don't know what my f acquaintance did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain, they stop and look at each other. *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? [Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet], Withnail: Marwood: Something's got to be done. That's what you say. Maybe he f***s arses! I don't consciously offend big men like this. Danny's here. [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm] He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. Best kill it quick before it tries to make friends with us. His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. [noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes] Marwood: Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! Followed by yet another anecdote about his sensitive crimes in a punt with a chap called Norman who had red hair and a book of poetry stained with the butter drips from crumpets. https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Withnail_and_I&oldid=3185462. Withnail: Amy Audrey Locke's 1912 In Praise of Winchester offers an anthology of over 100 pages of prose and verse about Winchester College. Danny: That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! I don't care where you come from! You can never, never disguise it. That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Like "Withnail: This is ridiculous. It features Paul Heller as producer, Lord David Dundas, and Rick Wentworth in charge of musical score, and Peter Hannan as head of cinematography. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Monty: Depends entirely on the quality of the wine. 2 quotes have been tagged as withnail-i: Bruce Robinson: 'We've gone on holiday by mistake' and Bruce Robinson: 'Here. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. You merely imagined it. God fulfils himself in many ways. You're not in the same boat. Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. the web and also on Android and iOS. And we want them here, and we want them now! The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts . I'm preparing myself to forgive you. I'm getting the *fear*! We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires! Saint Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. [overtaking a car on the motorway] [he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic]. What a piece of work is a man. Withnail: Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. Wake up you bastard, or I burn this bastard bed down! Withnail: Grab its ring. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] How can I possibly know what we should do? He's going into your room. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. When they take a holiday "by mistake" at the country house of Withnail's flamboyantly gay uncle, Monty, they encounter the unpleasant side of the . But old now, old. Sherry? Withnail and I is a comedy-drama film which got pretty popular. Withnail: I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Withnail: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself "I will never play the Dane." And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Have you had any training in the martial arts? Monty: You know what we should do? Cunt gave him two years. Now, look, you. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Headhunter to his friends. Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. This *is* the morning. Four floors up on the Charing Cross road and never a job at the top of them. Marwood: Hello? Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! [seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Withnail: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Withnail: I say, you know what we should do? I think we better release you from the lgume, and transfer your talents to the meat. Withnail: Marwood: (Voice-over) Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. Marwood: Withnail, you bastard, wake up. Marwood: All right, get hold of it. Get into countryside, rejuvenate. Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. Marwood: I could hardly piss straight with fear. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head! What are you doing up here, then? This is a far superior drink to meths. Reflecting these times. [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]. Marwood: I've been to drama school. The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it! Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. Monty: No fridges, no televisions, no phones! Throw yourself into the road, darling! Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials. 1 likes. You mustn't blame him. Jake: 4 Mar. Withnail: Now, come along, he's going to revitalise himself and you're going to finish the vegetables. I wondered if you could sell us some food. Oh, of course you are. Marwood: Dont vent your spleen on me. Yes, you are! As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Why don't I get any soup? Easy for you to say, luvvie, you've had an audition. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Why can't I have an audition? He wants to get down there and have sex with those cows. Scrubbers! Danny: Monty: Withnail is cowering under the covers, the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch, screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning, the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. This doll is extremely dangerous. Monty: Withnail: It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. Wake up, you bastard or I burn this bastard bed down! How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?! Oh, you little traitors. Danny: In this case, it most certainly would not. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning. I'm a friend of Montague Withnail's. Danny: He used to pick on me. Monty: [voiceover] If your father was my father you wouldn't get it. No, that is a dog. [Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel]. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Withnail: Listen to this. Withnail: How infinite in faculties! A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. Dead down the drain? A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. I think we've been in here too long. Marwood: Imagine getting into a fight with the f***er! "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." Stop saying that, Withnail! Beside there's nothing invented I couldn't take. Withnail: Marwood: What is all this "tactical necessity" and "calculated risk?!" They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. The cottage. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. I might come and see you lads in the week. I've been to drama school. If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money. Withnail: The carrot has mystery. Be seated. We're doing a feature for Country Life. She said she'd closed. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. We worked out it would be handy karma for him to get hold of a suit but he's a very low temperature spade, the Coalman. 1 comment. Marwood: This is a court, man. [about Danny] Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. We can't go on like this. I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. An expert on bulls you are not! I've only had a few ales. What goods the countryside? I don't want to hear it. Withnail: If you can't find anything, bring in the shed. What happened to my agent? If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. That is an unfortunate political decision. Burnt! I think we've been in here too long. Didn't you hear? I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. What had I done to offend him? Marwood: Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. Withnail: Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! My thumbs have gone weird! It has felt like listening to a symphony and here comes the crescendo. Add spice to it. It's ridiculous. grant . If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. Because I want to walk you to the station. Headhunter to everybody. This may be the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Marwood: What happened to your cigar commercial? It's the only solution to this intense cold. Just run at it! quotes military heroes famous quotesgram. I called him a ponce. Withnail: How should I possibly know what we should do? And at the end, it seems Withnail is sad that Marwood is leaving him and regrets his choices. What on Earth are those? Withnail: (Ranting on a mountain) Bastards! It's trying to get itself in with you. I say, you know what we should do? Withnail: The carrot has mystery. Withnail. Opened the oven door and it was in there looking at me. Marwood: What are we going to do about it? I thought they'd all be out the back, drinking cider and discussing butter. : Withnail and I. I find the quote read by Monty from the note written by the poacher very usable: "Here, Hare, here." Surely Herr Hare Here. Browse Recommendations; Choice Awards; Genres; Giveaways; New Releases; Genres Isaac Parkin: Withnail: Withnail: save. Plot - Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. Danny: Why didn't I get any soup? Dosed 'em. I feel unusual. If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up here at his expense, which means him having a weekend's indulgence up here at my expense, you got another thing coming. It's got to warm up. Well, that can't be sensible, can it? If you're hanging onto a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision. Rejuvenate? No, he'd like a bit of pleading. Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. Withnail: [reading from the paper] "In a world exclusive interview, 33-year-old shotputter Geoff Woade, who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. I brought two of these in case either of you is any good in the kitchen. The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. He doesn't have any friends. Withnail: Look at this; accident blackspot? I sense there is world play but I just don't get it. I don't know what's in here. Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. Withnail: Offer him yourself. What's in your hump? Monty: His name's Presuming Ed. [Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]. And all at once those frozen hours, melt through the nervous system, and seep out the pores. Required fields are marked *. Marwood: Suits me. Then the fucker will rue the day! The poets represented in the book include the Old Wykehamists John Crommelin-Brown, Lord Alfred Douglas, Robert Ensor, A. P. Herbert, George Huddesford, Lionel Johnson, William Lipscomb, Robert Seton-Watson, Thomas Adolphus Trollope . We're coming back in here. Look at my tongue. It's you he wants. "I'm gonna pull you head off." I don't consciously offend big men like this. General: I feel unusual. Raymond Duck. You will make it low. The only thing you're in that I've been in is this fucking bath! The only people he converses with are his clients and occasionally the police. It sent chills up and down my spine when Keith quotes Prabhupada when he said . Danny: You're looking very beautiful, man. Uncle Monty: Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! You got to throttle him. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. Sort of said it without thinking. It'll pass. Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you, and I'll wake you up with a live one. We may as well sit round this cigarette. Eggs and things. He can eat his ****ing radish. Little tarts, they love it! Listen to me, listen to me! I was gonna cook onions. Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Sulking up the hill. Monty: [removing his sunglasses] Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. Would you like a drink? [getting up at the same time] "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." What have you found? Peter Marwood: That's alright, I'll go alone. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door, she still doesn't answer. Monty: The fucking kettle's on fire! [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] Cake. Waitress: Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. The bastard's about to run at me! I often wonder where Norman is now. Marwood: Marwood: [takes pill out of doll] Trade: Pheno-dihydrochloride-benzorex. The only thing youre in that Ive been in is this ****ing bath! Quotes About Cool Kid (57 Quotes) www.quotemaster.org. [cockily] Sinew in nicotine base. No, I haven't got another. Ponce! Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? Withnail: Then the f***er will rue the day! It will pass. I think it's time to release you from the lgumes, and transfer your talents to the meat. Withnail: Sitting down to enjoy my holiday. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Withnail:I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! We worked out it would be very handy karma for him to get hold of a suit. You needn't explain, he's told me everything. *You'll all suffer*! Danny: One of us has got to stay on guard. We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each.