I dont need a psychologist to dig into my personal life and ask me about all of my secrets, thats what my friends are for!, 13. 41. 222. We need to hear a pin drop. 3. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. Its okay, he woke up. I might go home today, but I will go bigger tomorrow. Albert Einstein. Lifes biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I dont want to get out of bed. 28. 8. If youre looking for a way to brighten your day and amp up your attitude, youve come to the right place. 189. "Whatever you do, do with all your might.". Why cant you play cards on a small boat? I don't entertain negativity in any shape or form. 23. A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. Life is always easier with some humor, smiles, laughter and fun. "Disconnect to connect.". Life does a pretty good job of keeping us stressed and worried, we dont need our internal dialogue to pile on too. Why is England the wettest country? Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. 254. I am feeling wittier and more naturally funny. Rome wasnt built in a day. I personally love watching masters of comedy, Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre. Exercise? George Burns I keep moving forward even if my pants come off. Every day I become calmer and do more good for the world. 95. Who says nothing is impossible? I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome. No matter how bad it gets, Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. Yesterday I did nothing and today Im finishing what I did yesterday. 148. 32. 137. I'm amusing and people enjoy talking to me. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. "May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short.". 94. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat., 10. Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but Im still going to keep looking. Roy Lichtenstein Sometimes the M is silent. It just plain forms. I am full of vitality. Affirmations can either be written down, spoken out loud, or visualized in the form of a conversation between money and you. Im going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, Im outstanding. Albert King Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. I accept my body the way it is today. 145. Perhaps youre just starting to use affirmations and still cant take yourself seriously. 202. With a cowculator. Take a look! Dave Barry. Say "Thank you" - A Motivational Video On The Importance Of GratitudeIntro Speech by Denzel Washington (Commencement Speech)Main speech by Fearless Soul "Tha. An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough. Some when they enter, others when they leave. 139. Why did the school kids eat their homework? I will drink my coffee and conquer my day. Excuse me please, I have to go hide a treasure. 250. It equates "weight loss" with thoughts like: I can. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A backbone. Looking for positive funny affirmations? We all have different and distinctive senses of humor thats what makes us such unique individuals. The world is missing some pizzazz. I didnt fall, Im just spending some quality time with the floor. I am not letting an episode of my life ruin the entire show. I can engage in small acts of kindness to uplift other people. Im not running away from hard work, Im too lazy to run. 160. 109. 257. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. Ill start this journey with my 10 favorite funny affirmations that never fail to make me laugh. I may not know karate, but I know crazy and Im not afraid to use it. 118. My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. [click_to_tweet tweet=I can always think of something funny to say. quote=I can always think of something funny to say. theme=style4], 2023 Oldtown Publishing LLC 479 State Route 17 N I am capable of eating a family-sized bag of chips. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny. Always remember youre unique, just like everyone else. 147. I sometimes might be too much, but I am always enough. 1. Laughter brings me closer to people. Yeah, so is a grenade. 102. My feelings are just like acquaintances, they come and go., 5. 18 Funny Positive Affirmations. Without further ado, lets look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. 23. 188. 88. I am so f*cking awesome. Always remember youre unique, just like everyone else. 28. With time, I have started to value more time. 228. You can use affirmations to alleviate pressure in highly stressful scenarios, like taking an exam or going to a job interview. Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. 207. 184. 153. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Raimonda.B. I did not trip and fall. You can also share them with your co-workers to put a smile on their faces. When the past comes knocking, dont answer. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. 163. 193. Alexa, please clean the negativity off of my mind please. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. Is it perfect? I am grateful for the healing power of humor. Stuart Turner, 247. I have a healthy body, tranquil mind and a vibrant soul. 2. 113. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. 252. 30. I am thankful for all those difficult people in my life. 1. I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full., 11. Its not important to win, its important to make the other guy lose. Here are some tips on how to make the most of using these humorous affirmations: Laughter and affirmations are already powerful separately, so imagine what they can do for you when combined. 9. I didnt give a f*ck yesterday, I dont give a f*ck today, and I wont give a f*ck tomorrow either. 203. I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow. Wouldnt exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? Bill Murray Im lovely because everyone likes me more than Monday morning!, 7. Sharing quotes, proverbs, and sayings of great authors to touch people's lives to make it better. 98. For the best seat in the house, youll have to move the dog. 215. I put my phone in airplane mode, but its not flying. I see food, and I eat it. These funny ideas are smart and a bit sarcastic and will bring a smile to your face. Every time I like the taste of the food, I am damn sure that its unhealthy for me. I am passing all the things and hardships with a smile. I am Ananya, a professional speaker and I love motivating people and inspiring them to pursue their dreams. You can only be young once. Microchips. I bet giraffes dont even know what farts smell like. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. It gets toad away. 2. Not looking at the price tag when Im shopping., 11. Im sorry, but thats just the way I am. I am fine. I love living in my unique female body. This might be a work in progress, or you might need to remind yourself of how funny you actually are. Helen Giangregorio. Relaxing the mind with some funny affirmations is an easy way to reduce stress and keep yourself grounded in moments of turmoil. And their purpose certainly isn't to minimize hard feelings. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. I understand people talking about me. 16. 158. But you can always be immature. May life man not be perfect, but Im blessed., 13. health is important. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. If Monday had a face, I would punch it. Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. 53. 95. Who says nothing is impossible? 100. Funny affirmation quotes funny quotes about affirmation. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. 63. 57. 180. 230. I eat cake because its someones birthday somewhere today. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. 169. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. 232. 15. 92. Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. Bill Gates. Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, Id drink it. In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. East I have committed to being my most outstanding self. Lorrin L. Lee. 236. I am capable of rewriting my grievances and transforming my fears. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. 109. Plus, youre never gonna become funny and charismatic by being afraid to speak your mind. I will go out. It has features that are distinctive and make me who I am. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. Even if youre a skeptic, you must admit these funny affirmations really work. Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Go to bed with satisfaction.". Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. Stop playing with me., 6. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut. The older I get, the more I start ignoring my friends. 108. Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? Charles M. Schulz. 51. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. 268. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. Not only can laughter improve our problem-solving skills, but it can also help battle various diseases. My windows arent dirty, my dog is painting. "We . My mind is becoming much sharper. You deserve it! I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. Good morning! Funny affirmations for self-esteem are one way you can boost your mood in just minutes! Infographic: Why Do People Swipe Right (or Left) on Tinder. Your values become your destiny. Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. "I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. 40. Theres life without Facebook and internet? 70. Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park. Your mind will naturally focus more on the positive things that happen that day rather than the negatives. 21. 60. 164. I didnt mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. Charles M. Schulz Swimming trunks. Czech proverb, 261. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. 138. Youre born free, then youre taxed to death. Pleasing everyone, thats impossible. Choose words that make you feel confident about yourself. They allow you to focus on the positive and what is working in your life rather than dwelling on the negative. See more ideas about sarcastic, funny quotes, funny. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. Read the first word again. 7. If I lose my hopes, I am afraid my mom will still scold me for taking it out and showing it to friends. 132. Edward A. Murphy. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. 166. You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans. 123. If the funny affirmations that Ive put together dont break your cool, then feel free to throw on a comedy special on Netflix or Youtube when you feel stressed. Enjoying this list of funny affirmations so far? In between, I am alive. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. So, you promise yourself from tomorrow on, youll be starting your days using affirmations. Nobody gets out alive anyway. - Donald Trump. I did it! Run. East. At night, I cant fall asleep. To put your affirmations into practice, follow these steps. Wilson Mizner, 262. 216. Its time to be much more intentional about the words that we tell ourselves and take a step back from all of lifes noise. 176. I could agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. 127. Not me, but somebody does. I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up? I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. Read next: 280 Positive Money Affirmations For An Abundance Mindset, Posted on Published: January 26, 2023- Last updated: January 27, 2023, Home 90 Funny Affirmations To Start Your Day With Laughter, Fabulous List Of 120 Cute Names To Call Your Crush, 120 Follow Your Dreams Quotes To Keep You On The Track. 162. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. 100 Funny Christmas Quotes. 237. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. I am at peace with my body and accept it as it is. 56. Education cost money. 171. So, watch your words, restructure your thoughts, and stay positive if you want to see a change in your life. My jokes do. 141. Discover short videos related to funny affirmations on TikTok. Theres no stopping me now. This is because, in order to be funny, there are certain details that need to be perfectly delivered. Not sure who to credit this meme to, but kudos. 190. 48. Really? I personally love watching masters of comedy captivate audiences with their dark humor and crafty punchlines. 31. And in that moment I swear I still didn't give a shit. 145. 200. I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case were having cake. I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome., 15. Even on my worst day, Ive still got 24 hours., 6. We have rounded up the best collection of funny affirmations, quotes, sayings, captions, positive thoughts (with images and pictures) to encourage friends and family to manifest their thoughts into things. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 1. 224. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. 184. As long as I have friends as weird as me, I have everything. I might take a nap if I get tired, but I wont quit. Honolulu, its got everything. Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. 228. Bill Murray. 105. 80. It may look like Im doing nothing, but in my head, Im quite busy. 167. The only power you have is the word no. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. I dont worry about getting older. 127. I am grateful for all that I have. How do you count cows? Youre just gonna feel embarrassed for a minute or two and then it will be over. Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. Short Positive Affirmations set the pace for your day. Also read: 50+ Powerful Positive Affirmations For Exams. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me., 8. It takes so little to change your life! I radiate calmness and tranquility, with a little side of body odor., 4. I havent talked to my wife in three weeks. If I want a squirrel to like me, I guess I gotta act like a nut. New year, new me. 12. Absorb these 41 positive quotes and positive affirmations and start feeling positive now! I am intelligent. No No NOYes. Your words become your actions. Decomposing. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. Get Love Tips Sent Straight To Your Inbox. This is a snap. If you are looking for a way to get more laughs in your day, try some of these funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. Im sorry that Im not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. 140. I am thankful for all the problems I dont have. 267. 5. 199. How do trees access the internet? Quotes that make no sense Photo: pexels.com (modified by author) Source: UGC. Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. Best friends eat your food. I walk in the direction of what feels good for my soul.