Wishing you the best! Ive spent the past 18 years striving to be the perfect mom and corporate wife but I am afraid that I might have been faking it the whole time because I thought, This is as good as its going to get. A long time ago, he made a mistake that hurt you deeply. Release Calendar Top 250 Movies Most Popular Movies Browse Movies by Genre Top Box Office Showtimes & Tickets Movie News India Movie Spotlight. It seems they thought they would just do as the please and live a responsiblity free life and I would just hand the kids over for visits when he felt like. and now my life is in fix. That way we can ask you specific questions that will help us to determine the right plan of action. Before you come to any conclusion, i would clarify that i have not had any physical relation with my friend ever. He pays you unexpected compliments. Good evening my name is adeleke adebayo from Nigeria I lost my marriage because my wife is chitin on me she is bringing man to my house wen am not around one day I come back home on expect and cot. If you determine that hes not going to change and you are not going to be happy, its time to think about exiting the marriage. We are together baby is here now. We are so extremely busy in this and age with our jobs, our responsibilities, our social lives, etc., but it becomes dangerously easy to neglect our romantic relationships. Many times, when there is a disconnect between the two people in a marriage, one of them will seek comfort and validation from another person. We have been married for 16 years and have 2 kids. I feel like if i leave my husband Im using his past as an excuse but I feel that no one should have gone through what I have and to this day I have no idea if he is just hiding that he is going out on me again. We also have a 2 year old. So now back to today, this guy Ive spoken to is giving me attention and I think about all the things my husband has put my through and Im torn because on one side I have my husband who Ive built a life with has messed up on me throughout the years and took me to find out about his mess ups and tried to deny them and then on the other side I feel that I really do have someone who values me, wants to accept my children as his own, he has a daughter that I easily love as my own. I am at the point where i dont wanna try anymore. Just by being ourselves. Ny feelings are all over the place right now and even though I know what I really want to do which is be with her I dont want to hurt my wife but at the same time Im tired of living my life for everyone else and I want to do something that I want to do for a change in my life and what I think is best for me. And then i met this guy, online from another country. About a year ago I left on business and it was about 11 months long. Key points. If you're married and in love with someone else, you might want to give yourself some time to figure out what to do. We cannot live, except thus mutually . So when you aremarried and in love with someone else, who do you choose? If youre not happy with your spouse and you tried everything to make it work, then who are you fooling? To access it, just click here. Im worried weve grown too much apart.. and I really tried talking to him about it. We decided to have a second child and almost two years ago, our daughter was born, we married and moved into a bigger house and out of the city far out, with only fields and forest around us, like we dreamt of, when we were making Plans for our future life together. Please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching by clicking here. Hello Hope everyone is well despite whats been happening around the world. Your meeting had so much intensity. Someone once told me something very interesting. Theyre just our psychological responses to the events that are taking place around us. A handwritten letter is always a good way to organize your thoughts and present what you need to say in a calm and collected way. Husband checked out emotionally, we live like room mates, sleep in the same room but no intimacy. I am not sure what I want; I am beyond confused and I also, just want to disappear. So I often dont say anything. How did this happen? What if you were in love with someone before your husband but the timing was wrong. Unfortunately, we are both married to others and many miles apart. Interestingly enough, it often happens inadvertently. Its been a year since then. He shut me off and out at once: I am married and wife of his client. When someone is married but in love with another man or woman, it isn't profound to say that such a predicament can be harmful or even fatal to a marriage.Fo. You caught me off guard and took me by surprise, but you simply captivated me, the same way you do when I look into your eyes. The complexities of love can feel very paralyzing, especially when multiple people are involved, so I understand that you feel like you dont know which direction to take. You are still married to your spouse, but somebody is coming to your life that has sparked very intense feelings of love. my husband been cheating on me for the past year she says she not going any where and says he says he loves her and he is not letting me go no divorce .he is torn between the both of us what can i do to keep him from seeing her he tries ignore her calls but she finds her way to his job and where he hangs out that is where they meet up at. But as you said, it isnt possible to have a I have been a good mother, daughter, sister, grandmother Always thinking of whats best for everyone in the family but myself. And everytime the hubby comes home, i drop everything i do and pretend im a good mother to his children, but not a good wife to him since i dont do the responsibilities that a wife does to her spouse. We can provide you with powerful tools and techniques alongside a detailed action plan so that you know what approach to use in each specific phase. Acts of service are things that your spouse would really like you to do. John, I would like if we could talk because it sounds like I am in your wifes situation. I will tell you about my clients situation a little further down in this article, but she was experiencing an emotion that is probably very similar to what you are experiencing if you are reading this article. He will have to meet you halfway. I dont want to hurt my husband and children who are innocent of my teenage love. I encourage you to check out the product we have created specifically for this situation, as it will help you to lay out the proper foundation. We emailed, messaged and talked on the phone for sometime then decided to meet face to face. 4. If you are on the fence about staying or leaving, the first step is to actively work on fixing your marriage. 1 (Podcast Episode) - Movies, TV, Celebs, and more. It has highlighted a lot more of the issues in my marriage. I also feel like I would be living a lie if I continued to stay with my wife knowing that Im still in love with the mother of my kids and deep down inside I really want to be with the mother of my kids but It would crush my wife if I told her .. thats where Im having a problem at cause Id rather just leave my marriage and everything behind and start over not just to be with the mother of my kids but a new start for me. The thing is all these years Ive been with the person Im with Ive put up this facade as if I hate the mother of my kids guts just to please my wife, but in reality I never stopped loving her and the feeling is mutual. That opened up conversation that lead to an affair. If you have fallen for someone else it means that your marriage is on rocky ground and you need to take a good look at this situation. But at the same time inside I feel ruined because I miss her and I wonder what if. I am in the situation at hand my self at this very moment. Instead of condemning people, lets try to understand them. but I have different concept. issue within your relationship that needs to be addressed. We were young, and treated each other badly, but always came back together and loved harder. Menu. Everyone who comes. We had a deep connection and since then i cantget him out of my mind. I have been married for almost 7 years now and I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter. When my husband found out about the other man obviously came unglued and a rage i have never experienced came over him. My husband and I have been married for about 2 years and have a daughter together and I have helped raise his son since infancy. In the beginning of what now is an affair, I tried to talk to my husband about my needs because I thought he deserves a chance to succeed but Im always met with some reason why I shouldnt feel that way. Hi Melanie, Thank you for your question. And doesnt like my suggestions, it makes him feel uncomfortable. Which I didnt want but I didnt want to keep fighting anymore and being told horrible things. We have 6 kids together and they have expressed that they want their dad as well; however, the older ones express anger about his choices even though they want him home. By the way, Ive only been married 5 years. How long for children to grow up then I can leave, when every day is so unacomplished and unfulfilled just because I am married to someone so different than my way of living life.Any thoughts you have, I would really appreciate. Keep in mind that love is a choice. Almost never do two people fall in love on the same day, and almost never do they fall out of love on the same day. You can never force it, but once it arrives and settles in, you need to actively preserve it if you dont want it to go anywhere. Its very important to ask yourself the tough questions to figure out if you WANT to make your marriage work or if you just feel obligated to do so. I hate myself for wanting to be with someone else as well as my husband. Im feeling drawn my coworker. Its not that he is a bad person, he is very kind, tries to make me happy in his own way, we laugh a lot because we have the same humour. But.. he is more traditional in bed. But he also has good qualities that I admire, like his patience and kindness at times. Please dont hesitate to book a session with us by clicking here! Honest. Ive been married for 3 years but weve been together for 9 year. In addition to that Ive recently been seeing someone who I feel understands me so much better. If you aremarried and have fallen in love with someone else, it is crucial that you are very honest with yourself from here on out. But my best friend, who I was in love with since I was 15 has been a constant in my life for years. Hi Eva, thank you for taking the time to share your story. Its also important to note that if something deeper than friendship is brewing between you and your friend and you want to save your marriage, you will need to put space between you. My wife is a very loving and caring woman but she is a little older than me so she is stuck her ways, and now that weve been together so long Ive been feeling like she is just to comfortable to the point where I feel like Im just there. I didnt divorce, but I have moved out and come back. So my question is: is it okay to go and try to mend the marriage and it still not work? For other people we are the perfect couple. The sex part I tried, but it feels like I walked upon a wall and were not getting anywhere, so I stopped talking about that. Over time, our love for each other grew strong and we have had a solid base of love and trust (or so i thought). Get personalized recommendations, and learn where to watch across hundreds of streaming providers. I left my husband shorty after and stayed with him until an apartment become available. So now Im stuck in a marriage I hate. Hi there, I encourage you to be careful with leaving one person for another. Now we have maybe once a month sex. He gives me something my.husband doesnt. You are currently in an abusive relationship and there is help available. One of the people I worked with recently who came to me with a question about this type of situation wrote, Pls help me on hoe best to hanle this situation, thanks so much. I want to move out, file for divorce so that we can be together but I know that doesnt make logical sense. Sometimes reasonable, unemotional spouse cannot take the decision of divorce even if they refused the idea of falling back in love with each other because they have kids and they think only about whatever is good decision for their kids. Together we can work on reaching your goal by providing you with a clear-cut action plan that has been tailor-made to fit your relationship, your situation, and your specific needs. He changed my perspective on everything. 3. Release Calendar Top 250 Movies Most Popular Movies Browse Movies by Genre Top Box Office Showtimes & Tickets Movie News India Movie Spotlight. Now Im left with a decision of leaving my 20 year marriage knowing Im not in love with my husband or trying to sort it out but a bit pessimistic about it working. Sometimes this happens because people get lazy and too comfortable in the relationship, but other times it happens because things have been going downhill in the relationship for quite some time. By working with you one on one, we can define an action plan that is tialormade for your circumstance. He listened to me. I dont want to hurt him and Im very scared I will be unhappy with the choice I made. Its been 12 years since the last time Ive dated this guy and I didnt think anything would happen considering he is married and has a daughter. 5. Am also worried if i stay in the marriage i may never be truly happy again as he (my husband)cant love me the way i want to be loved. Physical touch is quite straight forward and we all know that it is a powerful way to communicate your love for someone. I am afraid that I am vulnerable to someone that would give me what is missing in our relationship. We met eachother when we were really young. He doesnt want it to appear like he was waiting for this to happen and has admitted that he will give it time in case I did want to repair my marriage, but now that hes said that, I want him even more! I dont feel like we explored each others interests enough. Team Happily Committed. This is not a lost cause if you dont want it to be. I like to be pampered nd he doesnt have time to pamper me, we dont go out for clubbing and thats one of the activities i like to do for fun, he doesnt allow me to put on the kind of clothes i like, we actually do not agree in so many things i feel like he tried so much to change who i am in the past nd that makes me to kinda hide my true personality from him. He said that he he kisses my picture every night before going to bed all these years. I told him i love him and if he cant handle the situation with me, he can choose to walk away and i will respect him with his decision. But that doesn't mean there's no coming back. To work with us, just click here! Well he has been messaging me a lot and talking about the past and he has mentioned he is getting a divorce and that Ive always been the one who got away. What if you love this other person but divorcing your partner would cause too many problems? There are many chances you got your lover back sooner or later. The problem started around a year back when i felt like emotionally attached to that friend and it grew stronger and stronger everyday. If you are a middle-aged woman looking to have a good time dating woman half your age, this article is for you. In this sense of the term, quality time is giving a person your undivided attention. We only argue about affairs. Identifying what brought distance into your marriage is going to give you a clear road map as to how to fix this, if that is what you truly want. Once again, its all about seeking clarity! Please respond back with an answer. But when life is forced to start and plans will have to be made with this girl He will see how our marriage was good. I know that in the long run my best friend would make me happier. I know that this is very hard to do because you are focused on what you feel with your lover right now, and it is very powerful indeed. Thanks for helping out, excellent information. All of these elements pile up on top of us and make it feel impossible to make a decision. And my oldest is pretty much telling me that I will never learn and grow up. As a team of dedicated love and relationship experts, we are here to guide you from A to Z and answer all of your questions. I cant help it or Its not my fault are things that I hear on a regular basis. Now I find my self in love with him but cant let my husband go. Because it is a complex situation, I recommend reaching out to us for one on one coaching. Hi: Ive been married for 25 years, very unhappy for the past 17 years. You want to be able to give a good example to what a healthy relationship looks like. Now, try the right place. Required fields are marked *. Which makes this all the more difficult. TV Shows. Hi Kim, Thank you for sharing your story. But you really have 4 important choices to consider when you're married. I tell my wife and myself I dont still love her, but if I was honest with myself, I sometimes think I do and miss her. There is no doubt about it, this is a pretty sticky situation. And I just couldnt believe someone actually treated me with respect and genuinely cared to hear what was bothering me what was on my mind. He told me how my disappearance has affected him in his life and relationships even his marriage. 251K views 4 years ago This video was created in response to our first video: "Married But In Love With Someone Else?" Viewers commented on the first video wondering if Dr. Beam would have. If you know in your I am just empty and looking for love and to be loved. Im torn too because everything would affect our daughter and our families. When I take a step back and put things in perspective I recognize that Joseph and I have been living like roommates in a comfortable situation, but clearly our relationship was not fulfilling me. It was an arranged marriage. Everything would be perfect if one, or both of you, wasn't MARRIED. Yet our relationship lacks the butterflies-in-our-stomach-feelings, you usually have, when you fall in love. I went to a therapist because my affair and guilt got me depressed. 5. Yes, but sixteen-years of being more of a roommate than a spouse has serious consequences to the relationship. Ive always looked at the other side but never played with fire. 6. From then on, things went downhill. And I try so hard to stay quiet and not react but after a while sometimes I cant bite my tongue anymore. However, were Christians and so it feels like we have to try. I had resigned myself to this situation and decided to sit in the relationship due to our kids and financial commitments. And letting him have sex with me and I hate every thing about it. I have become so numb to the situation that sometimes I do believe the things he says. I have just stuck it out for the kids. When you got married to your husband or your wife, you thought that you were in it for the long haul and that the love that existed between you would never be threatened. After 23yrs apart hes now been in touch telling how he has been looking for me all these years and why i did not tell him if the pregnancy. Constant back and forth. Our minds are just so clouded with What ifs, questions, and fears, that we wind up feeling blind and confused. I am attractive, play music, cook, well educated, romantic, never forget important days, and love her family, too. My daughter is still living at home with him although hes not her biological dsuvyqe and hes helping us financially, if I have a problem with my vehicle he tells me what I may need to do. Interestingly enough, most people say YES, they would choosefalling back in love with their spouseafter an affair! As I was saying above, in the majority of cases when a person isfalling for someoneoutside of their marriage, it is because something was lacking in the marriage.